Blog | X Factor Episode 4

Euphoria Girls

Euphoria Girls

No snappy title here! There’s not much to say about an hour’s programme filled with people that we already know but don’t know enough to care about. I think the ‘so what’ question will always be the problem with the Sunday night show. It seems surplus to requirements. But ‘hey’ you say, ‘the contestants might be able to sell it to a room of four, but what about a room of 4000?’. Good point my friend, if they naff it up, then off they go!

In reality, that’s not really how it works. Take Relley C as case in point. Relley was my favourite from Saturday’s show. Turns out she may have been a bit of a one-trick pony. Sunday night was not so good. Not so good at all. It was so bad that twenty minutes after having watched it I can only remember what she sang the previous night. All I know is that whatever she sang resulted in my body doing that same thing that happened whenever Tim Henman played tennis. A quick internet search says ‘Blind Faith’ is what Relley sang, which is pretty much what the judges must have been going on in order to put her through to bootcamp. Don’t get me wrong, based on Sunday’s show I remain her fan, but if that was good enough to put her through, then I don’t get the need for the whole arena deal.

The best audition came from Abi, who showed that girls can not only play guitar (heaven forbid), but write songs too (a nod to Lucy Spraggan for paving the way when it comes to that on this show). Her song about heartbreak seemed to leave everybody weeping. I be weeping because she’s in that playsuit.

Equally impressive was Shelley Smith, but her rendition of Feeling Good was perhaps only so good because it’s such a hard song to sing. I’m always impressed when someone can sing, because my singing can be summed up in two words: ‘Cameron Diaz’.

Barclay the yodler returned, and got through. He was told not to be a gimmick –a bit late for that methinks. Tom Mann was fine but forgettable. Oh, and Luke Friend shouted his way through a song while looking like a div.

And what of Les Revenants? Well, Melanie sang Titanium (a brilliant song) and made Louis cry, again. My magic wonder girl Jade was told that she didn’t ‘climax’ with the crowd. Creepy. And a bit harsh given that she sang Amy Winehouse’s Back to Black, a song that is all about low points.

Dolly Rockers came back and sang a song about being independent and got told that the competition was too strong for them. ‘What competition?!’ I hear you cry. That is a very good question given that we have yet to see a group. Oh wait, you’re right, Euphoria Girls….

Let’s face it; we knew this was never going to end well. Like ‘Fil with an F’, Euphoria Girls took the judge’s comments on board, ‘edged up’ and then we told it wasn’t ‘authentic’ enough. If that wasn’t enough of an ordeal they were told to ‘not give up’. Harsh.

If the rest of the Sundays continue like the last two, I fear we could be in for a long slog… Don’t worry though, the pizazz of the finals will make up for it.

Won’t they?

Tori Cann

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