There are three hours of The X Factor this weekend. Three. Oh my days.
So in this episode they’re playing musical chairs, a new take on boot camp where there are six spots awaiting the acts hoping to make it to judges houses. In these marathon shows they’ll be whittling down 100 to 24. What did they do last year? I think I recall a lot of sitting around hotel corridors so definitely an improvement as a spectator. What’s more, this version is tense, so thumbs up.
As people interested in women in music, that’s why you’re here, right? This is a good episode for us, we’ve been gifted both the girls and a number of the overs. But before we get onto all that we found out what categories the judges have! And? Sharon has the overs, I can not remember a time that she didn’t have the overs. Gary has the groups, which we can all agree that he should be good at that given he’s spent a very long time in a boyband. Nicole has the girls, sure, best to keep the big American star happy. Louis will be bowing out with the boys. Westlife o’clock? So, in these episodes each judge has the ultimate decision in who they take through. I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t 100% with the decisions that were made and I spent most of the episode trying to work out the formula of who gets through when and why. I am pretty good at it which means that I’ve either being doing media studies for way too long, or they’re getting lazy with the editing.
But before we even got to the egg round, the judges got cutthroat and chucked out a bunch of contestants. Curious then that Souli Roots made the cut, but more of her later.
Tonight we had some really good auditions with Hannah Barrett giving me them all over goosebumps, Abi swapping her guitar for a piano singing a song that would do John Lewis proud and Relley C not being given nearly enough television time for her talent (is my bias for her coming through enough yet?!). One word for Jade Richards, YEAH! And finally we said hello and goodbye to Karen Harding, someone that I really wanted to see go through, especially since we lost her to Melanie McCabe who has to be the most boring contestant ever. She’s like a woman possessed when it comes to this show.
Bleak times for Hannah Shears who, after being taken out of her girl group Daisy Chain (or whatever they were called) got dumped early on, saying ‘I’ve lost everything’ as she walked away. The same for Crissie Rhodes who only last week looked like an early favourite, and poor old Lydia Lucy who has been throwing everything at her auditions and still getting nowhere.
And then there were the overs.
Sam Bailey gets a standing ovation, again. The judges might as well stand up when she walks onto the stage. Sabrina Ramikie of whom I have no recollection got a spot on the eggs, and so did Joseph Whelan who, as the only male left in the overs stands a pretty good chance of making it to the live shows despite the fact that he blubs more than any contestant we’ve seen this year. Nicole should ‘ave a word and get him to grow some balls ovaries. When it came to Souli Roots without politics she is unfortunately just someone that can’t sing very well.
Final thoughts before tonight’s show what are you thinking not giving Jayson Newlands a spot in the final Sharon?! Unacceptable.
More of the same tonight then, a marathon show where the contestants battle over the six eggs. Sharon has already demonstrated how ruthless she can be so I was interested to see where the second half of her category would go, especially as everyone in the overs seems to be killing it. In the most part I thought she made good choices, although I would have dropped Joseph who has fully earned the title ‘King Desperate’. Seriously though, bleurgh.
Before you could say ‘what, still two more categories to get through?’ we’d seen the groups come and go. I just find it hard to get excited about the groups because they always have such a hard time getting going on the live shows. But, it wouldn’t be a season of The X Factor without some group or another cobbled together and this year it’s the as yet unnamed girl group. At least they were doing it in response to the severe lack of female representation in the groups category. See? Quotas do work!
In other group related news Rough Copy have gone from being a trio to a duo. I complained how I just don’t get duos to my partner and I was met with the response ‘Salt-n-Pepa’. Touché. Other than that business as usual, some good groups and it’ll be good to see who we’re left with.
We then had Louis’ turn at making decisions in a near total whitewash. A perfect demonstration of the massive lack of men of colour included in the boys category. Poo to the choices he made I say. Alejandro was my favourite by a good mile, but not today says Louis.
As for the others well, don’t even get me started on Luke Friend and ankles-out-Giles who I just do not get. Giles seriously needs to get a grip or this show will kill him, and Luke is the poor contestant who wins the prize of ‘the one I cannot stand’. There is one in every season and this year it is him. At least he’s not a horror Cocozza style, but oh please don’t send him to the live shows, or do. Whatever. They got rid of Alejandro so what do I care anymore?! Boys schmoys.
So next week the judges whisk the contestants of to their luxury holiday destinations houses. Will we see the boys pretend to be excited when they get dropped off in Dublin? Will Gary actually just admit that he lives in Cheshire and hold auditions there? Will I throw everything I own at the television as the judges make terrible decisions? Only time will tell, but I will be here to report it for you.