Blog | The X Factor – Movie Week

Miss Dynamix

Miss Dynamix

Thanks to Kingland Road‘s performance in the sing-off last week, I had Pink’s Try stuck in my head all week. I think this means I might actually like them (providing that they don’t do the creepy Bruno Mars schtick that put them in the bottom last week).Meanwhile, in probably the most shocking news since we learned that Souli Roots wouldn’t be making it to the live shows, Sharon lost Shelley. What did I tell you? Sharon would be the first with one left? Just call me Mystic Meg.

But what of tonight’s show? As Robson and Jerome sang in the 90s, it’s Saturday Night At The Movies, although ‘cheesy popcorn’ might have been a more apt title as far as some of these acts were concerned. At least we weren’t subjected to someone howling their way through Aerosmith, small mercies and all that.

It wasn’t all bad though, there were a few notable stand-outs from Hannah Barrett, Tamera Foster (go girls!) and Rough Copy – I’m also shocked to announce that Luke Friend wasn’t all that bad either. What’s happening to me?

Greggs got some good promotion this week with Hannah Barrett who took on Adele with a big song (Skyfall) and literally set the stage on fire. I love how her accent comes through as she sings, let’s hope she gets through to the final. A newly ‘lightened’ Tamera Foster took on an equally big song with Beyoncé’s Listen, one of those songs that always goes down well on a talent show. We also saw her take her shoes off, she is human! Abi on the other hand, oh Abi, Nicole just doesn’t seem to know what to do with her. There’s not much to say about her take on Moon River, she’ll struggle. Pick your guitar up girl!

With the groups Rough Copy went big, singing one of the biggest songs of the 90s (not Wet Wet Wet thankfully). From anyone else it would have been super cheese, but not Rough Copy. Kingsland Road sang Pretty Woman. I told them not to do the creepy Bruno Mars stuff anymore! At least there were no brides this week. Any win is a win I guess. Miss Dynamix have been run through the mill again, with the curse of the girl groups striking hard. I tell you, my rule is fool proof. If a girl group wears heels, their days are numbered. Simple sexist maths I tell you. If that wasn’t bad enough we had some Othering going on with Sharon asking band member Jeanette to ‘Click’, I hope Jeanette told Sharon where she could shove her exoticising reductionism when speaking to her in Xhosa.

What of our lone Over? One word, YAWN (one, very technically impressive yawn). This week Sam Bailey sang Celine Dion (with that the song that beat Elliott Smith at The Oscars). Can someone please tell Sharon that over does not mean dead? Beyoncé is an Over, Katy Perry is an Over. Janelle Monae is an Over. I know that if it aint broke don’t fix it and all that but I am bored to tears with the ballads.

With the boys Luke Friend (the one I hated for much of this season) provided the only memorable boys performance of the night with Seal’s Kiss From A Rose. Best song choice of the night for sure. Sam Callahan aka ‘Torso of the Week’ wants people to focus on his voice rather than his looks (oh to be a male popstar). Sam sang a song I don’t know and he didn’t even sing it well. Based on his vocals he should be in trouble this week, I hope his torso doesn’t save him. But it probably will. Blech. As for Tiny Tim who really does appear to be Louis’ dream contestant, I’m sure a lot of people out there would have liked that performance but that song he sang was cheesy as hell and Nicholas is not Rough Copy. But the judges liked it, so what do I know? I WANT TO BE THE FIFTH JUDGE, STOP TELLING ME THAT I AM X FACTOR APP AND LET ME ACTUALLY BE IT ALREADY.

Bottom Two? Abi and Miss Dynamix. I’d be amazed if we didn’t see another female artist go this week, either way, I don’t much fancy the chances of Miss Dynamix whoever they’re up against.

Tori Cann

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